Getting Unstuck: Addressing Life's Not-so-easy Questions

Part of why I’ve been missing from this blog recently is because I’ve been going through some bumpy roads. I wasn’t sure why nor did I have any good analytical reasons – which added to my frustration. I just kept feeling like I was missing something or just not getting it right. I knew that this was the reason I started my blog, but didn’t know how to write a post without sounding like…well, a whiner or “woah is me”er. (Yuck.)

One thing I did understand was that I kept coming back to the question, “What do you want?” - and I just didn’t know. I don’t know. Tonight I was told that if I can’t answer that in three minutes, then I must be OK with knowing that I just don’t know. I get that. But I’m still not so sure I’m alright with that.

But I don’t have to know right now. I don’t have to know today.

Why is it so hard to answer “What do I want?” It seems like it’d be easy. Same thing with “What makes you happy?” Or perhaps I'm over-thinking it. (Not like I've ever done THAT before!)

Well, part of the problem I have with answering questions like these is that I’ve got humungous lists for answers. Then, since I assume the next part of this line of questioning has to do with how I’m going to accomplish those things, just the thought of trying to come up with answers stress me out. Yes, thinking about things I enjoy doing causes me anxiety. Maybe it's a whole new kind of fear of commitment, huh?

What I hadn’t previously considered is the reason I have such massive lists is because I don’t want to be bored. How do I avoid boredom? It's sort of an eye opener to even write that because I've always heard that only boring people are bored. Me? Boring? YIKES!

Well, one thing I am going to start doing more is slowing down (more mentally than physically) and start holding on to, and being in, the now. What is really going on right now? Another way I’ve heard this recently is to identify the facts taking place in my life right now.

Stick to the facts. Embrace the things I do know (even if that’s knowing I don’t know something!). If I stay true to who I know I am through all of that, I suspect I should find some answers. And I don't think they'll be boring at all.

What helped you realize what you want?

My Story

I have a story to tell. It's my story. It can only be told the way I interpret it. Everyone will have their own interpretation of it. That's because they have their own story and tell it their way – and I would, in turn, interpret it my way. That's just the way it is. I can't change that. I can scream it, say it a hundred different ways, but no one will fully understand my entire story the way I understand it. And that's OK because that's part of what makes it mine. And at the end of it all, I'm the one who should be pleased with my story. If it can help or support or enlighten and care for others, then that's an incredible bonus. But that's not why I write my story. It is why I tell it.

Jump In and Do Something

So, it’s embarrassing, but I’ll admit – you haven’t seen me in a while. I could tell you all the reasons, but does any of that matter? Nope.

Lately my husband and I have been having great conversations about where we are in our professional lives, where we want to be, where we can be and what we can be doing to get there. I’m sure many of you have this conversation – either with another person or with yourself. Do you know what we all need to do? Just jump in there and do something about it to move it one step closer. Do something.

It’s so easy for me to write that – trust me, I know. I’m in the same boat (if you’re in the "I’m so busy, but busy doing what" boat). Yes, life is busy. Yes, we all get totally swamped. We’re all human. But just take five minutes. Write an e-mail to follow up with someone. Make a quick call to let a prospect or past client know you’re just thinking of them and see how they’re doing.

If you know me, have read some of my blogs or Tweets, you know about my passion and addiction to to-do lists. Mine overfloweth lately. However, that’s exactly where I was two months ago, too. Things have been crossed off, but some remain and many have been added.

This week I read an article about Kathy Vitzthum, a woman who took one class a year, for 19 years, before graduating with an accounting degree. About seven years after she started, she questioned the fact that it’d take her until she was 50 to finish. Her dad told her "You're going to be 50 anyway, so you might as well keep going." That really hit home for me. I could go along my merry way and just end up 6 months older in 6 months, or I could do something each day/week/month and be that much farther along in my accomplishments! No brainer to me. This also makes those to-do tasks seem a little more urgent because I would rather know I’ve done things in 6 months beside just AGE and have crossed off "laundry" on my to do list 100 times (thank you very much).

So here I am. I am starting my new "just jump in and do something" way of thinking. Notice the emphasis is on SOMETHING.

And check me out with this – I’m writing another blog post. About dang time, right? Yes! So here it is. I just opened up a Word doc and started typing. It's that simple. Yes, I’m realizing it’s quite long (I even went back and chopped a lot), but so be it – I’m DOING IT!

So think of something that’s weighing on you – that you’re not doing because of whatever reasons. Stop and just pick ONE. Now what is the VERY first thing you could do – just one little task – to simply take that weighing thing a step forward? Do it. Now. Then (and this is very important) do your happy dance and cross it off your to do list.